The Paradox of Choice
If you’ve ever really wanted to change something in your life — and knew exactly what would help — but still struggled to actually do it, this week’s Weekly Reset is for you. Because sometimes it’s not that we don’t know what to do, rather something is preventing us from doing it. So if you’re ready to stop collecting things you know will help and start putting them into action, let’s talk about what actually works.
The Problem With Choice
It is not that we are necessarily going to learn something completely new. Rather, to look at something familiar from a slightly different perspective, because on the surface, choice sounds like a wonderful thing. And it is.
We live in an incredible time. We have access to more information, more convenience and more opportunity than ever before. Imagine, if you want to exercise, you can go to the gym, join a women-only class, walk, run, do Pilates, follow a home workout or open YouTube and find thousands of workouts. If you want to learn about Islam, you can listen to tafsir while you drive, join an online class, follow scholars, read a book, listen to a podcast or open your phone and find endless reminders.
We've never had more options. We've never had more convenience. We've never had more choice.
And yet…
Is more choice always better? Because choice doesn't just give us freedom. Choice also gives us decisions. And decisions require energy.
Think about something simple.
You know that walking every day would be good for you. Maybe you've even told yourself:
"I'm going to start walking every day." You know it would benefit your health. You know getting outside would probably help your mood. You know moving your body is better for you than sitting for another hour. But then your phone is sitting there.
Instagram. TikTok. YouTube. WhatsApp.
And suddenly, you have a choice. You can put your shoes on and go for a walk… or you can sit down and scroll.
And here's what's interesting: Both are available to you.
The walk requires effort now for a benefit later. Your phone requires almost no effort and gives you stimulation immediately. So which one are you more likely to choose when you're tired?
Exactly.
And this is where choice becomes interesting. Because having the option to do something doesn't mean we're equally likely to do it. Modern life has become incredibly good at making the easiest choice the most tempting choice. And that creates a question we have to answer again and again:
Do I make the choice that serves me now, or the choice that serves the woman I want to become?
I'm not talking about perfection. I'm not saying every choice needs to be healthy or productive. You can have the takeaway. You can have the lazy evening. You can scroll sometimes. The point is awareness. Because when every choice is available all the time, it's very easy to keep choosing what feels good now without thinking about what we're building for later.
I think this becomes particularly interesting when it comes to our deen, knowledge becomes another choice We are blessed to have access to so much Islamic knowledge. You can listen to tafsir while you're driving. A lecture while you're cooking. A podcast while you're walking. You can follow scholars from around the world, join online classes, download Qur'an apps and save hundreds of reminders on Instagram.
It's a blessing.
But it can also become overwhelming. Because sometimes we end up consuming knowledge without actually implementing it. We listen. We save. We screenshot. We share. We bookmark. We buy another course. We start another book. We subscribe to another podcast. And yet… sometimes nothing actually changes.
So it's worth asking ourselves:
Am I consuming knowledge, or am I allowing knowledge to transform me? Because those are two very different things. And it's the same with personal development. You listen to a podcast about habits. Then a video about confidence. Then something about productivity. Then another conversation about becoming more disciplined. And suddenly you've spent three hours learning about how to improve your life…without actually improving your life. Information can feel like progress. But eventually, we have to ask:
What am I actually doing differently?
Because knowing more isn't necessarily the same as changing. Maybe you don't need more choices So what do we do? Sometimes the answer isn't more choice.
Sometimes the answer is fewer choices.
Think about your salah. You don't wake up every morning and ask: "Do I feel like praying today?" The decision has already been made. Salah is part of the structure of your day. And there's something powerful about that. You don't have to negotiate with yourself five times a day. So what if we applied some of that thinking to other areas of our lives?
Instead of: "Will I exercise today?" You decide: "I'm walking for 30 minutes after Fajr."
Instead of: "Will I read Qur'an today?" You decide: "I'm reading two pages after Fajr."
Instead of: "Should I scroll before bed?" You decide: "My phone stays outside the bedroom."
Instead of: "Should I work on myself this week?" You decide: "Every Sunday evening, I'll spend 20 minutes reflecting on my week."
You remove the negotiation.
You make the decision once. Then you follow the decision. Because every time you have to make a decision, you give yourself an opportunity to change your mind. "I'll do it tomorrow." "I'll start next week." "I'll do it when things calm down." "I'll start when the children are older." "I'll start when work is less busy." And sometimes tomorrow becomes next month. Next month becomes next year. And suddenly we're wondering where the time went.
Where are you giving yourself too much choice?
So here's something I'd like you to think about this week. Where are you constantly negotiating with yourself? Where do you keep saying: "Should I go for the walk or stay on my phone?" "Should I read Qur'an or watch another episode?" "Should I learn something and apply it, or consume another piece of content?" "Should I finally have that conversation I've been avoiding?"
Because sometimes we're not struggling with motivation.We're struggling with decision-making.
We're giving ourselves the opportunity to change our minds every single day. And if you keep giving yourself the choice to do something, eventually you may keep choosing not to do it. So perhaps the solution isn't to become more motivated. Perhaps it's to make fewer decisions. Make the decision once. Then follow the decision.
And I want to bring this back to you personally. Because maybe you've spent years collecting things you know will help you become the woman you want to be. You know you should read more Qur'an. You know you want to take better care of your body. You know you need to be more intentional with your time. You know you want to start that course. You know you need to stop scrolling so much. You know there's a conversation you've been avoiding. You know there's a habit you've been saying you'll start tomorrow. You probably already know more than enough. You don't necessarily need another hundred pieces of information.
You might just need to make a different choice.
And then make it again tomorrow. And again the next day. So this week, don't try to overhaul your entire life. Instead, notice. Notice where you're consuming instead of acting. Notice which choices bring you closer to the woman you want to become. Notice which choices make your life easier in the moment but harder in the long run. And most importantly:
Notice where you're repeatedly choosing the same thing and expecting a different result.
Because your life is being shaped by those tiny decisions far more than you probably realise. Every day, you're making choices about the woman you're becoming. And here's where I'll leave you:
You can finish this Weekly Reset, think "That was interesting," and carry on exactly as you were. Or you can take one thing from this conversation and actually do something with it. Because knowing what will help you become the woman you want to be is one thing. Choosing to act on it is another.
See you next week for your next Weekly Reset.